You are listening to My Freedom Grove podcast with Gretchen Hernandez, episode 134.

Welcome to My Freedom Grove Podcast, your calm space for practical help to get your dream business up and running while being authentically you and taking care of your mental health. I'm your host, Gretchen Hernandez. I'm so glad you're here!

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Hi My Strong Friends.  Have you ever had those weeks where your brain keeps shouting “I don’t want to do that?”.  Not just for 1 task.  I’m talking about almost every task.  Even the ones that you really enjoy?

Our brains can be so uncooperative at times, right?  

I have a theory.  Our brains are listening too much to the Inner Critic.  The Inner Critic is very influential.  It gets on stage, with your brain watching from the audience.  It paints a picture of doom and gloom on everything.  

Your brain watches in shock and horror as beautiful pictures are painted over with dark clouds, thunderbolts and emptiness.  So of course we don’t want to do the task.  Who in their right mind is going to voluntarily sign up for doom and gloom?  So of course your brain is going to shout “I don’t want to do that!”

So, I developed a little trick years back that really helped me.  I knew if I could get my Inner Critic off the stage, my beautiful pictures could stay beautiful and I’d keep doing my tasks.

But, I needed help.

Enter the Inner personas.

My Inner Personas are various pieces of my authentic persona.  I summon them up to get my Inner Critic off the stage.  This makes room for one of my other Inner Personas to take a turn on stage.  One of my favorite Personas is my Inner Nurturer - Mama G.  She makes me feel so loved.

Yep, that’s right, I gave my Personas names.

I talk about this technique and many others in my Emotional Freedom Course.  The Emotional Freedom Course is available in the Unshakable Business Co-Lab Membership as well as to my 1:1 clients that want to focus on feeling better.

Outside of the Emotional Freedom course, I haven’t told very many people about my Inner Personas trick.  Honestly, I was a little worried people would misinterpret me by hearing this one trick out of context.  I was a big fan of the movie Sybil with Sally Field.  Her character lived with Multiple Personality Disorder.  I luckily do not.  I intentionally created Inner Personas after watching the Disney Pixar Movie Inside Out.  

Your mental health is incredibly important to me.  If I only help 1 person with this trick, it will be worth it.  I decided to share it now because I’ve noticed many of you getting shut down by your Inner Critic.  It’s like a 2 sided war….you vs. your Inner Critic.  Life will get so much easier when you feel inner harmony instead.  To do that, you need more people in your corner.

ORIGIN OF THE INNER PERSONAS

Disney Pixar’s movie Inside Out came out in 2015.  It shows the inner characters in the brain of the main character, Riley an 11 year old girl.  The 5 inner characters take turns operating the Control Panel of how Riley interprets the world.  They also collect memory orbs, colored to match the character.  Inside the control panel you can see the collection of the memory orbs.  At a quick glance you can see who has influenced the emotions of the memory.

The characters include:

Joy - who creates yellow experiences and yellow memory orbs.

Sadness - who creates blue experiences and blue memory orbs.

Fear - who create purple experiences and fear memory orbs.

Anger - who creates red experiences and red memory orbs.

Disgust - who create green experiences and green memory orbs.

At any time, one of the characters can take over the control panel to influence Riley.

It is also revealed that a character can go touch a memory orb and change the interpretation, emotion and color of the memory.

Another important “AHA” is that each character can be highly beneficial when used at the right time.  As much as the viewer originally believes Joy should always be at the control panel, we are educated about a better distribution.

There are so many great Mindset references and techniques in this movie.  If you’ve never watched it, I highly encourage you to do so.

I started to wonder about the Inner Personas I have in my brain.  If Riley had 5, why would I limit myself to 2 - Me & My Inner Critic?

HOW COULD MULTIPLE INNER PERSONAS HELP?

I want you to think back to Middle School.  Did you ever joke around about having a Bodyguard?  Or maybe you were the BodyGuard for someone else?  It served a purpose.  Having a bodyguard allows you to relax and do your thing.  A 2nd person takes on the role of looking out for danger and keeping it away.

Imagine yourself looking around the classroom.  How many different characters do you see?  Which ones did you enjoy being around?  Was there a class clown that made you laugh, Someone that always seemed carefree, someone that always knew the answers, and maybe there was your best friend who would always be there when you needed to cry.

Let’s take a further look at other characters in your life.  Did you have someone that always gave you unconditional love?  For me, it was my Grandpa.

All of these characters helped you in some way.  You didn’t need each one to be with you every minute of the day.  But when you needed them specifically, you knew who to approach.

When you gave them your attention, you put them on stage and sent your Inner Critic behind the curtain.  After you listened and observed this other Character on your stage, how did you feel?

I always felt so much better.  For one, I had a break from hearing my Inner Critic.  Whew!  And, it was great to hear the other perspective.  I always felt better.

This doesn’t have to be hard.  I developed mine in 10 minutes.  It only took a piece of paper and a pen.

I thought about all of the authentic ways I showed up for others.  One of the important aspects of this trick is to stay authentic to you.  This isn’t about creating fake Personas that say fake things to you.  You deserve something real and honest.

Here’s the thing.  You have authentically shown up very nurturing, supportive, problem solving, inspiring, intelligent, funny, creative and protective to others your whole life.  You have these Personas in you.

The only difference is you express them outward.

Typically, your inner critic is the one that expresses inward.  It’s time to change that.

You are going to identify these Inner Personas and ask them to direct their efforts inward.  They get to help you they way they have been helping everybody else.

I drew my Inner Personas as blobs.  They didn’t have a distinct shape.  No two looked alike.  Some had a thin long shape that curved around the other shapes.

The point isn’t to make a beautiful drawing.  The point is just to identify your Inner Personas.

I did allow the size of the shape to matter.  This was my Before drawing of my Inner Personas.  This is my collection of all of the Personas I knew I had in me.  The size represented how much stage time they got while helping me.

I also named them.

INNER NURTURER - Mama G - the one that is so good at loving all of our kids.  Maybe she could step in to give me the mom-love I always wanted.

INNER CRITIC - Snarky Sara - (no offense to my friends named Sara).  She loves stage time and is very, very loud.  She sometimes likes to play the film of other people’s Inner Critics.

INNER PROTECTOR - Nia - (affectionately named after Nia Jax from WWE fame.  A big powerful woman that can take anyone down).  I am a strong advocate for others.  I will stand up for them. I will have hard conversations on their behalf, I can resolve conflict and restore peace.  I need Nia to tackle Snarky Sara and get her off the stage.

INNER JOY - Mirth - playful, goofy, lighthearted, creates fun stuff for everyone to do

INNER CHILD - Little g - curious, inclusive, wants to belong, scared to get hurt, overly trusting and optimistic

INNER ME - Big G - Take Charge, Responsible, Planner, Logical, Get Stuff Done

Now it’s your turn.  Pause this podcast if you need to.

1. Draw your Inner Personas.  Draw as many as you want.  Any shape is fine.  You can color them if you want.  You can draw their current size.
2. Name them
3. Describe each one’s characteristics.

Now that you have your cast of Inner Personas, what do you want to do with them?

I had 2 purposes.

1.  I wanted to call on each one specifically when I needed them.
2. I wanted to adjust how much Stage Time each Persona got.

CALLING ONE OF YOUR INNER PERSONAS

When I found myself feeling undesirable feelings, I’d ask myself “Who’s on The Stage Right Now?”  Almost always it was Snarky Sara.  My brain was sitting in the audience hearing Snarky Sara say unhelpful thoughts and beliefs.  She was ruining my beautiful pictures, painting over them with doom and gloom.

Who do I need in times like that?  Nia.  I needed my Inner Protector to remove Snarky Sara from the stage.

I’d close my eyes and visualize the scene.  I would make the call in my head, or out loud if I was somewhere by myself.  “Nia, please help me.  I need you.”  Sometimes I had to say it several times until I could see her walk into the room in my imagination.  I’d point to Snarky Sara on stage, share my request in detail with Nia and ask for her help.

Nia would always respond “No problem, I got this!” and give me a high five.  Nia isn’t a touch feeling kinda Persona.  She’s a kick but, take no crap kinda gal.

In my imagination, I would watch her laugh as she stepped up on stage with Snarky Sara.  There was no anger or animosity.  It was humorous.  Nia would say something like “Girl, no.  Uh-uh.  You’re done.  Let’s go.”.

At times Snarky Sara would throw a hissy fit and demand to stay.  Other times she’d go defiantly.. Sometimes she would just drop her head in defeat and sulk off the stage.  The funniest ones were when Nia would just sweep her off her feet and throw her over her shoulder.  Snarky Sara would kinda laugh and say “Here we go again” because they had a good relationship.

Once I had Snarky Sara off the stage, I’d call on one of my other Inner Personas. If I was feeling hurt, I would ask Momma G to come show me some tenderness and love.  She has by far been my most favorite Persona.

Remember as a kid, you cried “I want my mom”.  When you have an INNER NURTURER you can have her at any time.  If you cried “I want my dad”, your INNER NURTURER can be the best dad you ever wanted.

A side note.  Your INNER PERSONAs can be any gender, orientation or personality.  You are creating who you need most.

When I call on Momma G, sometimes I just need her to wrap me in a big fluffy blanket and hold me tight.  She tells me so many encouraging things.  She showers me with love. She insists on tell me when she is proud of me.  I know I’m always going to be OK because Momma G is always there for me.

Are you familiar with the term “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy?”  Sometimes we really need a break to go have fun.  We need to feel alive.  Life is more than just working all the time.  That’s when I call in Mirth.  I created Mirth after seeing Jack Frost in the movIe Rise of the Guardians.  Mirth helped me start indoor snowball fights at work and at home.  It’s amazing how fast Mirth can bump up my energy.

Now your turn:

1.  When are times it would be helpful to call on one of your Personas?
2. Which one?
3. What is your request?
4. Will you need more than one Persona to help you?  If so, who else?
5. Visualize the conversation and the action
6. How do you feel now?

ADJUST THE STAGE TIME

When I drew my initial “Persona Stage Time: drawing of my personas, Snarky Sara’s blob was huge.  Mirth’s blob was so small it was barely noticeable.  Looking at how much stage time each persona got, it was no wonder I didn’t feel good.

I wanted to change that.  Imagine how different my life would be if mirth and Snarky Sara swapped sizes?  Wow!

So I took out a second piece of paper called “Dream Persona Stage Time”.  I drew my target sizes for each of my Personas.  I imagined how my life would be different with my Personas having that much stage time.  I concentrated on the feeling.  That feeling felt Euphoric.

Surprisingly enough, I didn’t want Snarky Sara out of the picture all together.  Sometimes she serve a purpose.  Sometimes she can be very helpful.  For example when I’m trying on new clothes.  She does not hold back if something looks bad.  Other personas may not be as honest.  However, I need to still keep Snarky Sara in check, otherwise I’ll end up as a wet pile of goo on the bottom of the dressing room floor.  

I regulate their stage time.  Interestingly enough, the last time I went to a dressing room, I only took Momma G with me.  Wow!  That was a different experience.  There was so much love and hugs in that dressing room.  Even when things didn’t fit.  Nothing but love and encouragement and growth minded coaching.  Oh yeah, Momma G has to know how to coach to develop my Growth Mindset.

In the beginning I needed Nia to be a big presence.  In v1.0 of my “Dream Personal Stage Time” drawing, I had her as the same size.  However, as I got closer to having Mirth and Momma G have more stage time, I didn’t need Nia as much.  Things were settled.

Nia hangs out with Little G a bit more now.  Little G gets to have the inclusion she always wanted and to be safe.

Now it’s your turn;

1. Create a “Dream Persona Stage Time” drawing
2. For Personas that are growing bigger, what activities will you ask them to do?
3. For Personas that are getting smaller, how can you other personas help?
4. Close your eyes and envision life with your Personas in these new sizes.  How will it be different?  How will it feel.

WHEN TO ADD A NEW PERSONA

I was inspired by a book title in the last 6 months.  It’s called Personality Isn’t Permanent by Benjamin Hardy.  I only started listening to the intro of the book so far.  But the title got me.  There are some things about my personality that I love, but don’t serve me well. 

It’s strange to think of changing your personality.  It’s who you have always been.  But, if you are like me, you may have some extra hurt because of the good things about your personality.  What if there were some slight modifications to your personality that got rid of the hurt?

Just because you have been one way your whole life doesn’t mean you have to stay that way.

What if you practiced internally first?  Just to try it on?

What if you identified that part of your personality you are reconsidering.  Add it to your “Persona Stage Time” drawing.  Then add what the new persona could be.  Give both of these personas a name.

Observe when the old personality took the stage.  What was the outcome for you?  How did you feel?  Was it a mixture of good and bad feelings?  Was it worth it for that persona to have stage time?

Which other persona would you call on to help remove your old personality from the stage?

Would you immediately invite the new personality to the stage?  Would you just give them 5 minutes of stage time in the beginning to test the waters?

You can have that new personality be anything you want.  You are just testing the waters to see if you like them.  And if they play well with the rest of your personas.

You can test this out in private.  This is really just for you anyway.

When you find your best combination, you can go out into the world with your new persona on stage.

INNER WORK IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN OUTER WORK

The Inner Persona trick is all about you.  You getting comfortable and happy living in your own body with your own mind.

Too often we look to outside sources to help us feel better.  When we do that, we are dependent on somebody else.  They have to have time, patience and the right skill set to help us.

When you are willing to do this work on yourself, you have 24/7 access.  You have all of the time because you are not going anywhere away from you.  You have a whole lifetime ahead of you.  Patience may still be a struggle.  It’s normal to want change to happen quickly and to feel better instantly.  If patience is a struggle for you, develop one of your Personas to have patience.  Give them more stage time.  You already have an authentic part of you that is patient externally toward someone else.  Tap into that strength and turn it inward.

My friends, I hope this Inner Persona trick helps you.  When you can always have your own back, you will always be fine.

The Inner Persona trick and other techniques to Feel Better are included in the Emotional Freedom course.  The Emotional Freedom course is available inside the Unshakable Business Co-Lab membership which will open for new enrollment in October.  The Emotional Freedom course is also available to my 1:1 clients that want to learn tools on how to feel better.

If you would like some assistance with this Inner Work, you can work with me 1:1 on either a Personal Journey or a Business Journey.  Inner Work pops up in all aspects of our life.  Having your mind working with you instead of against you can mean all the difference in the world.

To set up a free consultation, go to my website as www.myfreedomgrove.com/workwithme.  You’ll see the 2 different 1:1 options and instructions for setting up your first free call.

My strong friends, I hope you have a great week.  I’ll talk with you soon.  Bye-bye.

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 Thank you for listening to My Freedom Grove Podcast. When you are ready to make your dream business a reality and take care of your mental health, I invite you to join the Unshakable Business Co-Lab. This is the mastermind membership you've been waiting for. There's no limits on your imagination, nor your timeline. We're with you every step of the way. To learn more, please visit www.myfreedomgrove.com/join. I'll see you there!