Boundaries are often used in a negative way, a barrier to keep people out rather than a drawbridge inviting people in. As a recovering people-pleaser, I know using boundaries can be tough, but I’ve also learned that they can bring a lot more love into your life. Defining and learning how to communicate your boundaries is an opportunity to create the life and the environment that can make you and your relationships flourish.
In this episode, we talk about:
[04:14] Defining Boundaries: Visualizing boundaries as a house with a fence can help set a solid foundation for defining your boundaries. This imagining of boundaries includes many details, discover them here.
[06:30] The Power of Rejection: If you're not role modeling how to treat you, how will people know that they're supposed to treat you that way? Read how rejection leads to resentment and overshadows the positive benefits.
[08:45] The ABCs of Behavior: We're looking at antecedent behavior and how people form and learn their behaviors through actions and consequences.
[12:50] Rewards That Work Well: Spending time with individuals you interact with to find out what motivates them is the best way to determine which rewards they'll respond the best to. I've found that these three tend to work pretty well in work and personal lives.
[14:52] Communicating Consequences or Negative Behavior Feedback: When you've defined the actions and behaviors that you'll accept in your life, communicating when someone isn't showing up in that way can be the hardest part. Try one of these two ways.
[23:10] Workplace Boundary Examples And How To Respond to Them: I’m sharing some of my own experiences and how I navigated those moments. We've all been there, but how should we have had those conversations and not become emotionally hijacked? Here are some ideas!
[25:59] Exercise 1 - Defining Your Boundaries: Follow these steps to help define your boundaries. It’s important to approach these steps with intention, be specific! Address your boundaries in your personal life and your work life.
[33:00] Exercise 2 - Identifying Behaviors: This one is tough. We’re focusing on individuals in your life and digging into the behaviors they bring to the table when they’re violating your boundaries. This exercise will help you when it’s time to respond.
[37:06] The Turnaround! Receiving Behavior Feedback: Now that you're in the know, be observant to notice where other people may be notifying you that you violated their boundaries. Tune in to hear how I was able to find the balance between boundaries and caring about other people's feelings.
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